Back to…ADHD and Chronic Pain: Let’s Clear the Fog and Call Out the BS

aka: Things I Wish People Would Stop Saying Already

Let’s talk about some of the nonsense people with ADHD and fibromyalgia constantly hear, and why it needs to stop. I don’t know who started these myths, but they’ve clearly never had to function on three hours of sleep, while forgetting their coffee on top of the microwave for the fourth time that day, in a body that feels like it’s been hit by a freight train.

So here we go. Myth-busting time, one spoon and two brain cells at a time.

Myth #1: “Fibromyalgia isn’t real. It’s just in your head.”

Yeah, in my nervous system, where my brain’s pain signals light up like a Christmas tree. Doctors have found actual, measurable differences in how we process pain. So if you’ve been told it’s “just in your head,” technically… sure. It’s in your central nervous system. That doesn’t make it imaginary. That makes it neurological. Thank you, Cleveland Clinic.

Myth #2: “Only hyper kids have ADHD.”

“Yeah right”… I was the quiet girl who stared out windows and forgot what class we were in. ADHD doesn’t always look like bouncing off walls, especially in adults. Sometimes it’s quiet daydreaming, missed deadlines, and an inbox that mysteriously fills itself with shame. If you think ADHD ends at 12 years old, congratulations, you’ve never paid bills with this brain.

Myth #3: “People with ADHD are just lazy.”

This one? Deep breath. This one makes me want to scream into a throw pillow. ADHD is not about laziness, it’s about executive dysfunction. It’s wanting to do something and physically not being able to start. I’ve sat on my couch for hours mentally arguing with myself to get up and wash a dish. The American Psychological Association confirms this is a brain difference, not a character flaw. (But also, shout out to anyone who got up and washed one spoon today. You’re doing amazing.)

Myth #4: “If you don’t have the classic fibromyalgia ‘tender points,’ then it’s not fibromyalgia.”

Outdated. Let’s throw this in the same bin as dial-up internet and “doctors smoking in commercials.” Even up to now, that baffles me. Fibromyalgia is now diagnosed based on widespread pain and other symptoms, not just the 18 tender points. Some people have them, some don’t. If you’re hurting, don’t let an old checklist tell you your pain isn’t valid. You know your body better than any Dr could.

Myth #5: “Meds will fix everything.”

Oh how I wish. The reality? Meds help, but they’re one part of a way too complicated toolbox. I’m on meds, and I still rely on planners, alarms, stretching routines, and occasionally crying in the shower. Same for fibro folks, medication can reduce pain, but we still need gentle movement, sleep routines, and maybe a heating pad that never leaves our side. (Mine has a name. Don’t judge.)

Myth #6: “ADHD meds make people hyper.”

Nope. For most of us, stimulant meds actually slow things down. They quiet the mental chaos. It’s like turning the radio from punk rock to something resembling NPR. It doesn’t work for everyone, but when it does, it’s not about being “wired”, it’s about finally being able to think clearly enough to remember why you walked into the kitchen.

Bottom line:

ADHD and fibromyalgia are real. They’re often misunderstood, minimized, or turned into punchlines. But if you’re living with them , or love someone who is, facts matter. Lived experience matters. And smashing these myths is one small way we reclaim our space, our stories, and our sanity.

So if someone tries to hit you with one of these tired lines, feel free to smile, take a sip of your tea, and say, “Respectfully, that’s not how this works.”