Two Diagnoses, One Body: The ADHD & Fibro Balancing Act
Ever have one of those moments where it feels like everything in your life is conspiring against you? For me, that moment looked like juggling adult ADHD and fibromyalgia at the same time. We’re talking full-body aches from fibro and a brain that short circuits at the slightest interruption, thanks to ADHD. It sounds like the setup for a sitcom: “Woman with chronic pain forgets why she walked into the kitchen again!” But for me, and maybe for you, it’s just life.
When I finally got diagnosed with ADHD in my mid-30s, I laughed out loud in the doctor’s office. Not at him, at myself. I had always thought ADHD was just for hyper little boys who couldn’t sit still in class. Meanwhile, there I was, an adult woman, staring down a prescription and thinking, Do I really need this?
Spoiler alert: I did.
Remember that time I left my keys in the freezer and my coffee in the car? Yeah, that wasn’t just me being “scatterbrained.” That was ADHD. It sounds ridiculous now, but getting that diagnosis? It was a full on revelation.
The Emotional Rollercoaster: Fear, Denial, Acceptance
Wrestling with two “invisible” conditions will mess with your head. First came the denial.
“No way I have both. I’m just tired. Stressed. Hormonal.”
I chalked up my forgetfulness as one of my “quirks” and the pain as just aging or “something I ate.”
Then came the fear.
What if I was broken? What if people thought I was making excuses? I remember lying awake thinking, Please let it be something simple. Please let it go away.
I had moments of pure disbelief too, at 2 a.m., googling symptoms, convincing myself that there’s no way I checked all the boxes. And yet, there I was, every morning, sore to the bone, standing in front of the fridge trying to figure out why the milk was in the broom closet again.
The appointments, the meds, the explaining myself over and over it all became overwhelming. I’d cry on the couch and think, How did I let it get this far?
Eventually, I reached acceptance.
Not all at once. Not without tears and some profanity. But slowly, I learned to say, Okay. These are my diagnoses. Now what?
I started telling myself, and others that I wasn’t being lazy. I wasn’t being weak. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that messes with how your brain handles attention and impulse. Fibromyalgia is a real, chronic pain disorder that makes your nervous system act like someone cranked the pain dial up to eleven.
Neither is going away. But both are manageable. And honestly, just knowing what I was dealing with helped me breathe a little easier.
Adult ADHD: Beyond the Stereotypes
So, what even is ADHD?
According to the Cleveland Clinic, ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that impacts how your brain develops and functions. Symptoms often start in childhood, but many people especially women slip through the cracks and go undiagnosed until adulthood. I was one of them.
ADHD in adults doesn’t always look like bouncing off the walls. It can look like missed deadlines, zoning out in meetings, blurting out something embarrassing, or putting your wallet in the dishwasher. (Yep. Been there.)
According to the American Psychiatric Association, an estimated 4.4% of U.S. adults have ADHD—but most have no idea. Many get misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression, when ADHD is the real root issue.
Some common adult ADHD symptoms include:
Chronic forgetfulness
Difficulty finishing tasks
Struggling to focus or prioritize
Poor time management
Impulsivity (hello, midnight Amazon orders)
Emotional dysregulation
For me, the big red flag was time blindness that feeling where ten minutes feels like an hour… or an hour feels like two minutes. I was always running late and constantly feeling guilty about it. A therapist once suggested keeping a time journal. I laughed. Then cried. Then started tracking my day in a notebook. Spoiler: it actually helped.
The Diagnosis: A Funny (and Mortifying) Moment
My favorite diagnosis story?
I walked into the psychiatrist’s office with a planner, a notebook, two calendars, and four color coded pens… but forgot my insurance card. I had also double-booked the appointment on top of a dentist cleaning. I sat down and said, “I don’t think I have ADHD. I’m just a little unorganized.”
He just smiled and said, “Let’s talk.”
Five minutes later, I was like, Ohhhh.
Acceptance still took time. I kept wondering if I was just lazy. Maybe I was just overreacting. But deep down, I knew something wasn’t adding up. And having someone look at my chaos and say, This is real. This is treatable that changed everything.
Fibromyalgia: The Invisible Storm
If ADHD is brain fog, fibromyalgia is a full-body thunderstorm.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, fibro causes widespread musculoskeletal pain, extreme fatigue, poor sleep, and cognitive dysfunction. Basically, it’s a never-ending game of “Why does everything hurt?”
Common fibromyalgia symptoms:
Widespread muscle and joint pain
Crushing fatigue
Cognitive issues (fibro fog)
Sleep problems
Anxiety and depression
IBS and headaches
It’s pain no one can see and exhaustion no one understands. And to make things worse, fibro fog and ADHD fog like to team up and wreak havoc together. They’re like uninvited guests at a party who eat all your snacks and disappear when it’s time to clean up.
Let’s Bust Some Myths
1. ADHD is just laziness.
False. ADHD is a legit neurological disorder that affects how you think, plan, and regulate yourself. It’s not a personality flaw.
2. Fibromyalgia isn’t real.
Wrong again. The CDC and countless medical institutions recognize it. Just because you can’t see the pain doesn’t mean it’s not there.
3. Only kids have ADHD.
Nope. Millions of adults live with it, often without knowing. Women especially get overlooked because we tend to “internalize” symptoms instead of acting out.
What Helped: Journaling & Small Habits
One thing that changed the game for me? Keeping a symptom journal.
Nothing fancy—just a beat-up notebook where I tracked:
Pain levels
Energy crashes
Moods
Meals
Meds
Patterns started to appear. I noticed certain foods triggered flares. I realized some days were heavier, foggier. I began to plan better and advocate for myself at doctor visits. It became less “I feel tired” and more “Here’s my data.”
Humor Helps Too
Sometimes, you have to laugh so you don’t cry.
Like the time I forgot the laundry in the washer for three days—and rewashing it made it worse. Or the time I poured orange juice in my cereal. Or when I spent 20 minutes searching for my glasses… that were on my face.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone
If you’re reading this, maybe you’re struggling too. Maybe you feel like your brain’s running on dial-up while everyone else is on 5G. Maybe your pain is invisible, but very, very real.
I see you. I am you.
This might not be the life we planned. But it’s the one we’ve got. And we’re still here figuring it out, adapting, and pushing through. If no one else told you today: I’m proud of you. You’re doing hard things with a brain and body that don’t always cooperate.
Let’s keep sharing. Let’s keep laughing. Let’s keep showing up not because it’s easy, but because we deserve to be heard, supported, and understood.